Just Wear the Goshdarn Bikini

We just returned from a seven-day trip to Florida. And by “we” I mean myself, my six and four year old, and my youngest who is almost two. My husband was there for the first few days before returning for a work trip, but this post isn’t about him.

Because when it comes to pool time with the kids, dads don’t have the same issues as moms. Period.

Issues you say? Let’s start with having three kids in five years, or simply put ‘stretch marks.’ Or feeling like the whole world has seen your rack because your kids use your top as a buoy in the water. And might I add, feeling like your bum is always exposed because you’re constantly bending over to reapply pounds of sunscreen or wrestle a squealing kid who does NOT want to go home.

Here’s my advice for moms struggling to find the right bathing suit: GET OVER IT. Put on whatever makes you feel like Sandy singing in those tight leather pants from Grease. Or in my case, tie up that bikini and rock it.

I tried the high-wasted swimsuits. They remind me of oversized Granny panties. I also have some baby-got-back and all that ‘back’ does not look good in all that fabric.

Swim dresses are adorable. But it’s not 1950, and I’m not 50…yet. Just because I’m (almost) 40 doesn’t mean I have to cover all my assets.

Beth also has three kids, so CHEERS to motherhood!

I work hard for what I’ve got. Crossfit, eating clean, cutting down to just two (giant) glasses of wine a night takes dedication. So if I want to strut what I’ve got, so be it.

My kids are super cute accessories. Sometimes I feel more confident walking around with my littles. Because after popping out three so close together it’s amazing I’m still alive. Let alone in a bikini.

Plastic surgeons make a lot of money…because you pay them for things like a tummy tuck or mommy makeover. Which cost between $6-8 grand. How do I know? After trying on bathing suits I went to see a really good one at the Cleveland Clinic.

But all things aside, I have a responsibility as a mom. To get up at 7:00am and get out the door 15 minutes later because my kids want to swim in the pool. They don’t care how I look. They care that I am present. Not holding the baby over my stretched out stomach, but helping them learn how to swim and do handstands underwater.

Confidence is a state of mind. My kids are little sponges that absorb everything I say and do. So again, I have a responsibility to show them what it means to feel good about myself. And personally, I like wearing a low-rise skirtini. It keeps the girls in, protects my ‘back’ from running full-speed after a toddler and—most importantly—makes me feel pretty.

So next time you see me—or a mom trying her best to rock it at the pool—give that woman a high five or a margarita.

Here are three of my go-to mama-sexy brands: Athleta, Trina Turk and Ted Baker.

What are your mama must-haves for summertime?





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(Non) Stay-at-home mama raising my three screaming cubs while restoring our 35-acres of wilderness just outside of Cleveland. Copywriter, sheep herder and fixer upper. I live in muck boots, jeans and wear dangling toddlers as accessories.

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