A little over a year ago after finding out I was pregnant with P, Justin and I made the decision that I was going to stop working to become a stay-at-home-mom. This decision didn’t come easy… for several reasons. After months of deliberation and weighing the ups and downs, I gave my two-week notice at work. If you know me you know I am a social butterfly. I always have been. I love being around people. I crave it. I need it. Family, friends, coworkers, strangers. Okay maybe not strangers, but you get the point, right?
To be totally honest with you, the decision to stop working was much harder than the decision I made that one time that I decided to leave my life behind and immigrate to the U.S. to marry my husband. A big part of it is the fact that I don’t like to depend on my husband. I want to contribute financially. I like having my own money. Can you relate? I worked in cosmetics, so waking up in the morning and getting dolled up for work also made me feel good. Granted, after I had Olivia my version of getting dolled up was a little different from my pre-Olivia days, although I still made it to work looking somewhat presentable most days.
Anyway, the transition has been an interesting one. I have learned a lot. About myself, about myself as a mom and as a wife. I have grown. I am still learning. When I first stopped working it was right before summertime and one of my main goals was to spend as much time with Olivia as I possibly could before P’s arrival. I wanted to explore with her, teach her new things, visit new spots in our area and most importantly, eat lots of Froyo. During my pregnancy at times I felt enormous guilt about bringing another baby home. I wanted more time with my girl. I felt she needed more time with me. Anyway, we accomplished all these things and more. It was such a great summer!
Then fall came and of course the birth of my beautiful baby girl in September. And then winter. We live in Ohio so winter is long and annoying! Especially this year. We had a lot of visitor’s after Penelope was born. Justin’s mom, my mom, my sister, my best friend. Everyone took turns to come out and help. It was truly amazing! We are very lucky and always so thankful to have such a support system in the people that love us and our girls. However, as you know all my family lives in Holland, and Justin’s family is scattered all over. We moved to Ohio four years ago and although I love living here being without family and friends is not easy. Especially now that we have the girls. Something I wish for is for them to be able to be around family more.
It’s been a little over a year since I stopped working and although I do not miss having to be at work, I miss social interaction terribly. I miss having adult conversation. I miss some of my co-workers. Don’t get me wrong. I love and adore my children very much. If I was given the choice to go back to work I would probably decline. There isn’t anything I’d rather do than be able to take care of my girls, but man, the transition has been no joke.
I am so much more than mama and wife. I am fun, kind, lovable, sarcastic. I love hard, I like to listen to 80s music, I could watch endless videos of people popping pimples, I love concerts and going out to dance. Rap is my favorite music, I could eat sunflower seeds until my mouth is raw, I play a pretty decent air guitar, and I burp loud and proud. There’s more to me than being mom. This is the life I have wished for myself for as long as I can remember (the universe listens). I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but damn it, I do not want to lose myself as I fulfill this role of motherhood. This is also how and why DuhDutchess was born. This is something that is mine and mine alone. My creation. Where share my dreams, my fears and everything in between. I promise to always keep it honest, real and raw. No fake shit! I hope you will enjoy this wild ride with me.