Ah yes, on today’s edition I am going to serve you some knowledge that you may not like or appreciate. It is the truth that often times in co-parenting we are placed in positions in which our first instinct is to fight. Get out the sword, lash out, “WE WILL SHOW THEM,” we might yell with our fists madly pumped up in the air!
Friends, listen to me. Take a deep breath. Go for a run; whatever you need, and then grab the beverage of your choice and wash that sh!t down. It serves nobody and especially does not serve your child. That being said, there are moments worth fighting for, but every time (EVERY TIME) you find your belly on fire and chest tightening with anger stop and ask yourself if THIS, this particular moment, is serving you or your child by fighting. To be clear, if it serves you and not your child, this is where you eat the sh!t.
I have eaten my fair share of poo in the over 10 years of being happily divorced. Things that sometimes blow my current husband’s mind. I would bet that my ex believes the same about himself! I have had many acquaintances come to me for advice when in a situation with their ex or soon to be ex and they are often surprised when I say, “Who does this argument serve? You or your child?” They proceed to tell me what a (insert evil adjective) their ex or soon to be ex is and I, again, ask whether them “winning” serves them or their child?
I am always on Team Kid. We all should be, and if you can agree to that, then you are well on your way to being served a side course that you can wash right down and feel pride that you sacrificed your ego for the well being and betterment of your child. I promise this WILL feel good and will help the relationship with the other parent.
So… repeat after me: My ego and winning is not nearly as important as my child winning.
If you can’t do that it’s time to start working on it. If you can do that you should be fine.
XO – The First Mom