The Pressure That Comes with Being a Woman

group of women being wives and mothers

When I graduated college in 2015, my biggest goal was to find an amazing career and make a ton of money doing something I loved. My mind was constantly thinking of ways to further my career and start my own business.

As I got more comfortable with my career, my goals changed a bit to traveling and seeing places other than my home state of Ohio. So, I started planning trips and visiting cities I’d only seen or dreamed about.

The more I’ve focused on myself and my goals I noticed myself, slowly but surely, wanting something else. I’ve been in a long term relationship for six years and we’ve talked about all of our goals and plans for our future together. We both agree that we want to focus on ourselves before marriage and kids.

I’ve always thought this was reasonable and what works best for us. But over time, I’ve noticed that all of a sudden I started thinking more about being a wife and motherhood.

Most people would say that my “biological clock” is ticking or something other completely made-up and ridiculous thing that is happening to me. However, I don’t see it this way.

All women are different. We have different dreams, different goals, and different ideas of what our lives should be like. I don’t think there’s just something within us that makes us want to be a wife and a mother. I believe that the big “biological clock” that people believe is deep down inside of us, is simply everyone else telling us that we should be wives and mothers.

Since graduating college, I have been bombarded with questions like, “So, when are you two getting married?” or “When are you going to have kids?” As if this is something that I am supposed to be planning for in my early twenties when I’m still trying to get my life on track.

I don’t think my body is somehow trying to tell me that I’m ready for a domestic lifestyle. Women are just constantly pressured to believe that their greatest achievement in life is to have someone calling them “mommy.” For many women, that may be what they want in life.

As for me, I’m still trying to get to a point where I’m confident in my career and have seen more places than I can think of. So, please stop asking me why I’m not married yet or pushing out little me’s. It’s okay to not want that in your life right now.

When I’m ready to take those steps in life, I want them to be because I want to. Not because I feel like I have to.

black woman with you are beautiful sign

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Brittney Moffatt

Brittney Moffatt is a social media and marketing specialist from Cleveland, Ohio. I'm one part pink, sparkles, and girly things. One part nerd who loves writing and play the Sims. And one part black lipstick, rock concerts, and vans. But, all parts fun, ambitious, and dedicated to helping young women!

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