Black and Married with Kids posted an article a while back about the phenomenon of Divorce Parties. I wholeheartedly agree with their take, but I’d like to add a few extra points.
Celebrating divorce is awful. Broken families and broken homes are no reason to celebrate.
Trust me, I know. It doesn’t make me happy to think about the effect of divorce on my family. It breaks my heart.
But for some of us, divorce is liberating. Being released from that painful relationship makes us feel like celebrating, especially after all the tears we cried!
I thought about having a divorce party. Nothing extravagant like the parties described in the Black and Married with Kids article. Just a little soiree with family and a few close friends to celebrate a life free of that painful relationship.
Who doesn’t want to live a life free of pain? And when that pain has run its course, who doesn’t want to jump for joy!
Jump for joy, I say, but find another reason to jump higher than you’ve ever jumped before. After you’ve mourned your loss, instead of partying, do these two things instead.
Invest in becoming exactly who you want to be.
I always knew that I wanted my life to be more than a routine, 9-5 experience. Years before my loss, I couldn’t figure what I wanted to do or how to do it. Once I started blogging, it hit me that I wanted to help others blog. I lacked knowledge, skills, and confidence. So I decided to invest in learning how to become a writing coach.
I participated in a couple of intensive programs to learn about starting a business, marketing, etc. I began to subscribe to the websites, other blogs, and podcasts for insight. I stretched myself to share with others my ideas. And as a result, I became a little more courageous.
Find your purpose.
Pinpointing my life’s work has been liberating journey. But I had to recover first so that I could see clearly the woman I wanted to be. There’s nothing like knowing my boundaries, having expectations, and aligning my actions with my purpose. And as a result, I became even more courageous.
(Now that I think about it, it’s a good idea to celebrate in these ways even if you haven’t been through a divorce or suffered a loss.)
I get it. Divorce is hard. Real hard.
The work that must be done to recover can be absolutely depleting. It can either make you want to live under a rock or go to the other extreme and party like it’s 1999!
In my experience, recovery has been the key to discovery. And I couldn’t have discovered anything with a lampshade on my head!
When recovery is said and done and you’ve come back to life, it’s natural to feel good about that. Celebrate, but don’t stop there. Keep going. Invest in yourself and find your purpose in life. The rightful celebration begins when you discover exactly who you want to be.
So what say you?
Do you believe in celebrating divorce? Did you have a divorce party or are you planning one? Leave me a comment or two below. I’d appreciate it.
Zoe Brown is a Cleveland blogger and learning & development leader who has a thing for watching only foreign movies. Check out her blog www.gonegirlgo.com and her contributions to Black Girl in the CLE.