5 Times I Clapped Back at “That Guy at the Bar”

I’ve taken a new approach to cat calling and aggressive one liners at the bar—shutting it down and making them feel as small as possible. Mean? Malicious in intent? Probably, but I honestly just don’t care anymore. Gone are the days of smiling, looking away bashfully and hoping they leave me alone. I have run out of patience.

I fully believe in publicly calling out disgusting behavior—ya’ll have been warned.

For your entertainment, I give you some of the most heinous:

1.

Random guy in bar: “You know, when you first walked in, I thought your forehead was huge, but looking at you up close it really compliments your beautiful eyes.”

Me: *Literally laughs out loud

“Wow, I just don’t even know where to start. Curious? Do backhanded compliments usually work for you when picking up women?”

Guy: *immediately backtracks
“No, no, no that’s not what I meant!”
Me: “Oh I’m sure it wasn’t, I’m really great with my friend here though, and there’s a girl across the bar that has big ears who’s just dying for you to tell her they really complement her chest.” *turns around*

2.

Man In bar old enough to by my father, and belligerent drunk: “I’m going to buy you a shot!”

Me: “I’m fine thanks.”

Man: “I didn’t ask if you wanted a shot, I said I’m f***ing buying you a shot!”

Me: “Wow, you’re SUPER aggressive—is trying to overpower women half your age your thing or are you just a real alpha-male?”

Man: “Stop talking—you’re doing a shot!”

Me: “Well gee Tim, you seem like a real great guy, it’s really hard to understand why you’re divorced. But like I said I’m good, my friend and I are leaving now. Please do ALL women a favor and take your weird daddy complex home….byeee”

Man: proceeds to yell obscenities at us I won’t repeat here 🙃

3.

Random guy at bar: *Brushes up against me while literally licking his lips*

“mmm dang girl, you lookin’ so fine tonight, you shouldn’t be allowed out!”

Me: “Wow, that was original 👏Guys in bars across America are applauding.”

Guy: “Wow you’re mean, I was just giving you a compliment geez.”

Me: *Trying to disengage…

“I am mean, you’re right! Probably best to keep moving along there.”

Guy: “Guys don’t like that, you should be nice to me.”

Me: “Where are my manners?! I forgot I live my life to please guys! But you see, girls don’t like hyper masculine guys overcompensating for what I can only assume is a really small……

and yet, here we are😬guess we both lose, damn.”

Guy: *gets mad and also yells obscenities while walking away* 🙃

This post wouldn’t be complete without a proper shout out to the cat callers. Let me set the scene:

I’m out running in my sports bra and leggings, it’s 90 degrees out and insanely humid. I’m on mile 6 of 8 waiting at a light to cross the street. I’m hot, sweaty and trying to motivate myself to keep pace once this light turns. Then this guy pulls up on his motorcycle next to me at the light…

4.

Guy: *Honks his horn at me
“Oh my god! You look so good baby! That ass!! mmm, come over here.”

Me: *Rolling my eyes

“Yes, you’re right that’s how this is going to play out. Your just so attractive…I’m going to jump on the back of your bike and you can just have your way with me!”

*Light turns and he revs his bike

Guy: “Oh you’re feisty! I love that in a woman”

Me: God, I hope you don’t have daughters!”

5.

Random guy on the street: “Omg!! Gorgeous, you are soo wet I can tell.”
Me: *stops walking, wtf did this dude just say?😑🤔*
“OMG YES! How did you know?! I was just walking down the street and saw you and couldn’t control myself!
Guy: “I know baby, I have that affect on women”

Me: “Psh, please, I’ve never been more dried up looking at a man in my life.”

I know this won’t be the approach for most women and honestly it’s probably not always the smartest (definitely know your environment and gauge the situation), but I have to say, it’s pretty amusing. My girlfriends and I take what is usually an unwanted and uncomfortable situation and walk away laughing…and that’s all I can ask for.

P.S. Also out here judgin’ these dudes on their inability to put a toilet seat down…no one is safe 😉

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SHEnonymous

I give a voice to the women who are concerned about sharing their story publicly. My mission is to give a voice to the women who want to start conversations, but who are concerned with sharing their identity, for one reason or another. My posts don’t reveal personal details that can identify particular people nor do I promote bullying or bashing others. I am designed to give women who can’t share their names an equal voice in the important conversations we are having at She In The CLE. Want me to share your story? Submit a post at http://www.sheinthecle.com/she-speaks/.

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