Life is tough alright, that’s just a fact. It’s easy to find yourself down in the dumps and seemingly stuck there. Don’t fear though my possibly sad friends, I have cracked the code to kissing negative vibes goodbye. I now present to you 4 for sure ways to make yourself feel better:
1.) Watch Criminal Minds or any other violent crime show of your choosing
Yes, it is always alright to throw a self-pity party. Sometimes it can be easy to convince yourself that the whole world is against you. However, how bad is your life really compared to the people getting chopped up on your screen? I have an answer – not bad at all. I mean sure maybe being passed up for that promotion really sucked, but I can guarantee it doesn’t suck as badly as being murdered in a parking lot and having a psychopath steal your eyes as a souvenirs (Criminal Minds, Season 5 Episode 6). Stay happy and be grateful for your limbs.
2.) Wear fuzzy fleece pajama pants:
I’m aware that it’s summer and I don’t really care. When it comes to curing sadness, comfy pjs are a trick from the dark ages. I know you all have that special pair of fluffy pants that cuddle you better than another human ever could. Picture them, go ahead – I know you want to. Here, I’ll go first… mine have little cartoon Rudolph’s on them and are possibly stolen from one of my best friends who has been wonderful enough to not ask for them back. So sure, it’s hot and humid and sticky and you’d probably rather be sleeping in your undies, but suck it up because in the long run, it’s gonna pay off – I promise. Plus, it’s like a free sauna spa treatment – sweat out the sadness!!
I know that this is something that a therapist would tell you.
“Exercise is good for the soul because it releases endorphins blah blah blah.”
Now, I don’t know much besides the basic science behind exercise but I do know if something hurts, an effective way to make the pain less evident is to hurt something else more. Remember when you were little and stubbed your toe so you would cry really hard? Your sibling would be sitting next to you and then randomly slap you really hard out of nowhere. “See now you’re more focused on the slap than the toe!” Their face would light up as they believed they were a child genius and the first to come to this logical conclusion. Go ahead and chuckle to yourselves now, but maybe our demonic little sibling was onto something. If your insides (aka feelings, emotions) are hurting, just make something else hurt more. This leads to exercising. I know that running is painful but hey, at least now your internal pain doesn’t hurt as badly. Keep moving!!!
4.) Write down your thoughts
Whoops, here I go again suggesting things a therapist would hand you. But this isn’t normal journaling… this is cool journaling. There is no requirement to write full coherent, deep emotional sentences or to describe your fears and dreams. Just simply write down whatever is going through your head. If this means – in the middle of a sentence about how you got an F on the last chem test – you trail into how you want hamburgers for lunch because that is where you brain went, that is A-OK. If your brain just consists of a solid string of curse words that’s even better. Write them all down. Just be ready with an explanation when someone accidentally stumbles across a journal that has the word “jackass” written in 20 different fonts.