I’m Not Intimidating

“She Speaks” is an anonymous blog series that allows women to share their stories without revealing their identity. It is designed to make sure that all women’s voices are being heard and is not a forum for passive aggressive bullying or anonymous bashing of a person, group or company. If you want to submit a post to She Speaks, email shespeaks.inthecle@gmail.com.

More than I care to admit, I’ve been told I’m intimidating – like it was something that I needed to fix about myself.

A few things that have actually been said to me:

“You’re intimidating to be around.”

“I wanted to ask you out, but you were so intimidating.”

“Why did you ask so many questions? It’s kind of intimidating.”

“So and so doesn’t want you included, you kind of scare them.”

It used to bother me a lot. The fact that my personality would fill people with fear and keep them from including me in things. I don’t want people to feel that way about me. I want to be liked and to be included, but I also want to be me.

I’ve finally realized just because you’re intimidated, doesn’t mean I’m intimidating.

I’m smart and witty.

I’m confident and opinionated.

I’m assertive and strong.

I hold my ground and don’t let people push me around.

I will admit when I’m wrong (which I’d like to think isn’t a lot, but it is). I don’t manipulate people. I don’t ever intentionally try to make people feel bad or hurt them. Rarely do I yell or raise my voice, nor would I be considered physically intimidating. I also don’t walk around with weapons.

And most importantly, the people I’m close with don’t seem to mind the way I am.

To these people who have called me intimidating, I’ve always wanted to ask:

Why does my opinion intimidate you? It’s just what I think.

Why does the fact that I ask questions fill you with fear?

Why does standing up for myself make you shy away from interacting with me?

So before you decide to call someone (especially a woman) intimidating, ask yourself why you feel that way. You may find it has more to do with you than it does with them.

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SHEnonymous

I give a voice to the women who are concerned about sharing their story publicly. My mission is to give a voice to the women who want to start conversations, but who are concerned with sharing their identity, for one reason or another. My posts don’t reveal personal details that can identify particular people nor do I promote bullying or bashing others. I am designed to give women who can’t share their names an equal voice in the important conversations we are having at She In The CLE. Want me to share your story? Submit a post at shespeaks.inthecle@gmail.com.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Amen to this! So many of us question ourselves throughout the years – when others words are to blame. Be confident, be strong. Go proudly!

  • How did this blog turn into such a whine-fest all of the sudden?

    I obviously don’t know you, but usually when someone has to say they aren’t something, then they are something. To be honest, you come off as intimidating in your writing alone. I agree with you that before you decide to call someone any sort of name, that you should ask yourself why you feel that way… but if everyone calls you the same thing, it might be you and not them. Just my 2 cents.

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